The Negotiator

Mom:

Taking Advantage of a situation. Every kid does it. Whether they mean to or not. Every kid sees that little space they can get their hand in and just start pulling at it and until it’s large enough to fit their whole self into. Something as simple as getting to take things along with us on a short trip to the sitters to trying to get a later bedtime turns into battle of the fittest.

This morning I inform my little girl that she can bring one baby doll along and a drink as we head out to the sitters. ONE BABY DOLL!! Are you serious? I have 3! Why just one!!?? She attempts to show me that she can carry 3 babies and a drink as I firmly stand there shaking my head no. I flash images of Baby #3 being dropped into drink and causing a spill in the car (because we have moved on from sippy cups) and there being a big mess for me to clean later. One more thing on my to-do list. I firmly tell her that she can either take all 3 baby dolls and no drink or one baby doll and her drink. Seems like a simple decision….but not when she greatly desires all 3 dolls AND her drink.

I think now about it and what’s going through her mind and her emotions as we live through these situations and I wonder…How many times have I as an adult acted the same way? Negotiating simple tasks with others or even within myself. Trying to put as much on my plate as possible cause I can’t let go of something. How do I teach her not to take advantage of every situation when I have the same struggles with contentment?

Dad:

I believe we negotiate a lot through out our days. If you’ve tried to get ready in the morning with a spouse then it is all about negotiations. Who wakes up first, who gets the kids ready, which kid do you want? Driving into work in the morning is one big negotiation. Sure I’ll let you get in front of me, but you had best drive the speed that I want you to or I’m going to give you an earful inside the confines of my car. “J” has that sense to take what you give her and try to squeeze out a little more. It’s like she at a Flea market, and I’m trying to lowball her. Usually with the children it is a pick your battle type mentality because I could be without a voice by the end of the night. Of course bedtimes, and that routine is always in stone unless there is something extraordinary going on. I believe “G” is catching on quickly being 6 months old. He realizes that if he cries either mom or dad will come in to visit him. Go in once, and of course he wants to see you more. Give him a little “real food” and now the boy stops and stares at you when you eat. It’s all easier said than done, in the heat of the moment pride kicks in and you’re in an endless battle about whether or not she can have a refill on the cup of water. Choose the battle, hold firm when it is chosen. No hitting below the belt, shake and come out swinging. Or something like that.