Thankfulness

DAD:

It is that time of year where presents are being bought, wrapped, and tucked away under the tree. It is a good time to see how well the children understand the concept of thankfulness. You can explain it to them, and hope that it sinks in, but you truly know when you see it being exercised. As with most families, the bedtime routine for J is to take a bath, get her pjs on, brush hair and teeth, give hugs and kisses to mom/dad(depending on who is putting her to bed), read a book, then say a prayer. One night as we were saying prayers, J jumps in and says “thank you God for giving us the money to buy Toy Story 3 when it came out.” As I type it, the memory brings tears of joy to my eyes. It is such a joy to see my children grow up. It is my prayer that they give thanks for everything in their life, and know who that thanks goes to. G is working on being thankful, but he’s got to get the speaking thing down first. But I know that he appreciates us.


MOM:

When J was born and we celebrated her first Christmas, my husband and I made a decision that we would try and help our children know the true meaning of Christmas instead of the commercialized version of presents and Santa Claus. J is just turning 4 this year. This is the first year that I have actually heard the words “I want that” come from her every time she looks through store ads and watches TV. This is also the first year that I have heard her explain that she will be happy with whatever present she receives and she will remember to say thank you without being reminded. In a world of selfishness and greed, we have succeeded at teaching her that even though we have a million wants and desires we must also sometimes be content with the toys, clothes, and stuff we have. I would like to think that all our words and explanations is the reason for this enlightening in our sweet little girl but our words mean nothing without action and direction from us through our own heart. Each year Santa is not dramatized in our home. Each year we fill the Christmas Holiday with Jesus’ Birthday by reading “The Christmas Story” as well as sing Happy Birthday to Jesus before opening our gifts. We look forward to visiting Rogers Christian Church to drive thru the Faithful Witness presentation of Jesus’ life. We help show her that Christmas is more about shopping, wrapping, and receiving gifts by the truckload. Each year we pray that the true meaning of Christmas stays with her and she remembers the ultimate gift that was given to us.

“She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins." Matthew 1

Pumpkin Patch

Dad:

This weekend the family took a trip to a local corn maze, which featured a nice dirt pile, corn cannon, a goat pen, hay ride, kid train ride, and the corn maze. J was really excited to see the train, and wanted to immediately jump on and ride, but we wanted her to wait for her friend that was coming also. I got a kick out of watching her interact within her surroundings. It made me excited to see her so excited about the different things that they had there. The place was not flashy at all, and frankly was quite unexciting, but J ran station to station ready to try out what they had to offer. It seems great to be able to see moments without critical eyes. I am learning from J to enjoy the moments that you are given, and make the most out of what is there. Her fun was my fun, and it enabled me to put on the rose-colored glasses, and just enjoy the moment with the family. Too many times we want things to be perfect for our kids, and if things aren’t a certain way then we seem disappointed. Kids don’t care about any of that stuff. The see things that appeal to them and just go for it. They quickly learn to be critical, and I think it starts with the parents. As for me I will attempt to be the example and enjoy the moments, because they are too precious to waste being critical.


Mom:

J’s favorite thing to do as Halloween grows near is visit Pumpkin Patches. We have been to larger ones and smaller ones. Each and every one of them has brought a huge joy of excitement to her. As my husband said, she makes the most out of what they have to offer. And we are learning as parents to not take that excitement away from her. It might cost $7 to get in, but the excitement our kids have for the pumpkin patch is priceless. It might not have the petting zoo we imagined (or in my case, that it had one at all), but J loves to watch, touch, and feed the animals. As a mom who sees animals as big germs that kick and bite, I just smile and let her explore them. The corn maze might be long and hot and lacking any type of air flow but we entered that maze following the lead of the 3 four-year-olds with us!! The girls were excited to take charge and follow the map! As a mom, I couldn’t miss enjoying this quest with her. It brought a smile to my face each time the girls decided amongst themselves which path to take. It was a great adventure for our daughter and one day G will grow up and be right there on her heels following her through the pumpkin patch and beaming with his own excitement. I never want this excitement to leave my children and each year I enjoy taking them to the local pumpkin patches and other events throughout the year.
But… when is it that we start to see the dirt, the heat, the germs, and the below average features in the world around us? How do we keep our kids from turning into so many of us walking this Earth? Can it be done and are we up to the challenge?

Pull on my reins

MOM:

So we have hit our busy time of year. The time of year that I seem to run out of hours in my day. Whether it’s that the sun shines less. Our schedules become filled with activities and events. Or maybe it’s the upcoming holidays approaching. The fact remains that life gets busy once fall starts appearing. I start thinking of Christmas gifts, Christmas travel plans, Thanksgiving dinner, Our wedding anniversary, Halloween costumes, trips to the Pumpkin Patch, Photos to take, cards to send out, and a new year to plan for with new calendars and projects ahead.

As a working mommy of 2 little ones and a wife, I stay very busy anyways. I try so hard to share as much as I can with my kiddos after work while still putting a dinner on the table and setting appropriate bedtimes for them and for me. As if my house isn’t crazy enough on a daily basis throughout the year, this time of year adds so much more to our family.

In the midst of this beautiful season, I just pray that I take enough time for my husband. To encourage him as the wonderful father he is to our kiddos. To love him in a way that speaks directly to his heart. As busy as our life is, we have started praying together each morning as we leave for work and go our separate ways. It gives us a reason to pause and remember what’s important in our life.

As great and wonderful and fun as all the activities and events that we have planned this season, if I don’t slow down and pause a little I will look back and wonder where it all went. As a mommy sometimes we let so much invade our heads with plans, goals, activities, holidays, birthdays, school, dance, church, chores, parties, bedtimes, meals, etc that we fail to stop and watch our children long enough to soak them in and see the beauty of all God created them to be. I pray each night for God to pull on my reins daily and hold on to these moments. With my kids as well as my husband.

DAD:

Time does certainly fly by. Seems that it was just a little while ago that we were enjoying the first days of summer, but now fall has began. This is the time of the year where holidays, and events are non-stop. It is great to have the time off from work, but it also means more trips, and other plans. Sometimes I think that life gets busier the older I get, but I think the closer I get to God, and the more mature my faith becomes God puts more things on my plate. God hasn’t promised the perfect life, but he did promise that I will have an abundant life.

Even though life has gotten busy my family and I have found time to pray. Those moments are what I cherish. I look forward to the first prayer of the day as I roll out of bed, then as we sit at the table for breakfast, and once more before we leave in our cars. The whole world is put on hold, and we just submit. It is a wonderful way to begin and end the day. So many times we can go through life and just keep busy, not really admiring your surroundings or what you have been entrusted with.

Each day at home is a moment to be the father, husband that I am called to be, and I pray that I step up to the plate. I never want to be too busy for my family. I have been given a great family, and I choose them over all the trips, tv programs, facebook, twitter, and the general craziness of the day. We can’t stop the bullet train of life, but we can slow it down a little to enjoy the scenery.

Potty Pride - Parent & Child

Dad:
Pride is a funny thing. That feeling of accomplishment when you do something well. Whether that is graduating, receiving accolades at work for a project, etc. It swells up inside and I just can’t help but smile. Sometimes I catch myself admiring the work that is completed. It is an awesome feeling. If you can imagine, take that feeling and multiply it several times over.

“J” is in the final stages of potty training, by which I mean, the #2 part. Which I’m told is somewhat of a challenge. A couple days ago “J” told me she had to pee, conveniently while I was feeding our infant, but luckily she ran to the potty on her own. After a couple of minutes she calls me into the bathroom. My mind has shifted from what a good girl to now there is a mess that I will have to clean up. To my surprise, no mess just her revealing that instead of going pee she went #2. Now she has done this before, but I was amazed at the how much happiness I had inside of me when I was told this. You would have thought it would have been me in her place, but at my age would be a tad bit sad. We high-fived, and then I scooped her in my arms and just hugged her. I was so very proud of her. Now the same can be said when she fails, or does something that is wrong. It honestly tears me up inside to know either of my children are struggling. It hurts to punish a child, and hear them cry but I know that they are learning through these experiences. It makes it somewhat better, doesn’t make it go away, but it helps.

Finally understand how my parents felt when I was growing up. My children’s accomplishments are my accomplishments, their failures are my failures. We learn, cry, laugh, and rejoice together. I’m not here to be their best friend, but their teacher, mentor, and leader. I love being a father. Nothing better than watching “J” and “G” walk through this world, just pray that I can shine some light on their path so they don’t stumble.

Mom:

As we have journeyed through these many months of training J to do #2 properly, we have so many times felt out of control and helpless. There are a few things in life that you can’t “force” your child to do. Use the potty, eat, or sleep. We used every method of rewards and encouragement that all those magazines and books talk about; stickers, charts, calendars, M&M’s, toys, money, visiting her favorite place. Not surprising if you know J at all – Non of it Worked!! She would “perform” once and then reap her reward and inform you that she wasn’t doing it again. She had gotten what she wanted from the deal and was walking!

So as I read an article a couple months ago about constipation in your child. I hear them tell me over and over again that you can’t force or reward a child that “holds” it for as long as J was doing. My attitude changed with her. All of the sudden the potty wasn’t held above her on a throne as a prize or achievement. It was brought down to her level and simply viewed as not such a big deal. Simply by letting her fully call the shots on it and repeating “poop goes in the potty” each time she had an accident or struggled with it. And she figured it out.

In no ways are we fully in the clear and doing perfect but the improvement we have experienced in the last month has been a huge relief for us as well as her. Years ago if you would have told me that I would be a mother of a 3 year old looking into a potty with a great sense of pride for what had just happened, I would have told you that was just gross! All J wants is for those words to leave our lips; “Mommy and Daddy are so proud of you honey! High Five!!” Who needs stickers and charts when you have love to express your pride to your child!

The Negotiator

Mom:

Taking Advantage of a situation. Every kid does it. Whether they mean to or not. Every kid sees that little space they can get their hand in and just start pulling at it and until it’s large enough to fit their whole self into. Something as simple as getting to take things along with us on a short trip to the sitters to trying to get a later bedtime turns into battle of the fittest.

This morning I inform my little girl that she can bring one baby doll along and a drink as we head out to the sitters. ONE BABY DOLL!! Are you serious? I have 3! Why just one!!?? She attempts to show me that she can carry 3 babies and a drink as I firmly stand there shaking my head no. I flash images of Baby #3 being dropped into drink and causing a spill in the car (because we have moved on from sippy cups) and there being a big mess for me to clean later. One more thing on my to-do list. I firmly tell her that she can either take all 3 baby dolls and no drink or one baby doll and her drink. Seems like a simple decision….but not when she greatly desires all 3 dolls AND her drink.

I think now about it and what’s going through her mind and her emotions as we live through these situations and I wonder…How many times have I as an adult acted the same way? Negotiating simple tasks with others or even within myself. Trying to put as much on my plate as possible cause I can’t let go of something. How do I teach her not to take advantage of every situation when I have the same struggles with contentment?

Dad:

I believe we negotiate a lot through out our days. If you’ve tried to get ready in the morning with a spouse then it is all about negotiations. Who wakes up first, who gets the kids ready, which kid do you want? Driving into work in the morning is one big negotiation. Sure I’ll let you get in front of me, but you had best drive the speed that I want you to or I’m going to give you an earful inside the confines of my car. “J” has that sense to take what you give her and try to squeeze out a little more. It’s like she at a Flea market, and I’m trying to lowball her. Usually with the children it is a pick your battle type mentality because I could be without a voice by the end of the night. Of course bedtimes, and that routine is always in stone unless there is something extraordinary going on. I believe “G” is catching on quickly being 6 months old. He realizes that if he cries either mom or dad will come in to visit him. Go in once, and of course he wants to see you more. Give him a little “real food” and now the boy stops and stares at you when you eat. It’s all easier said than done, in the heat of the moment pride kicks in and you’re in an endless battle about whether or not she can have a refill on the cup of water. Choose the battle, hold firm when it is chosen. No hitting below the belt, shake and come out swinging. Or something like that.

From the corner to Chuck E. Cheese

Dad:
Never expect the midday phone call from my wife to be bad news, but it happened to be that way yesterday. She had been contacted by our daycare provider to let her know that “J” had been put in the corner 3 times. Now my first instinct is to hop in the car and drive down there to give “J” a piece of my mind, but my wife, being the cooler head, asks for my opinion after giving me her thoughts. We eventually settle on letting the day care provider remind “J” that if she gets in trouble 1 more time that she will be missing out on the birthday party, later that evening at Chuck E. Cheese. 3 hours, and no incidents later I am meeting my wife at Chuck E. Cheese. One might think that 6:00 pm on a Thursday might be a slow time for this place, but that is the exact opposite of what this place was. Wall to wall kids, flying all over the place. The decibel level breaking rock concert status. This place was so happening that even a dad had squeezed himself up the ramp and into one of the playground tubes that suspended above the arcade. I watched in shock and awe as he made the circuit as he led his son through it. Looked like a miniature traffic jam with all the kids waiting for this big lug to get out of the way. All in all had a good time. Watched “J” play games, eat pizza, freak out when Chuck E. came out, and eat cake. Somewhere along the way we had lost “G’s” pacifier. Not a good time for a 6 month old to be without a pacifier when he wants to sleep. So mom rushed off to the store to get more while I fed him his bottle. “G” is in the habit of just being cranky during and after his night time bottle, but I have found that he likes for me to hum in his ear. By the time mom had returned “G” was fast asleep in his stroller. 3 hours in a Chuck E. Cheese leaves a very tired mom and dad. I’m just glad it wasn’t my night to wake up with “G.”

Mom:
Dad makes me sound so level headed about J. I couldn’t believe the news that my sweet little princess had kicked a friend, took food from other kids’ plates at lunch, and then pretended to attack their plates like she might eat them. I felt like marching down to our daycare and having a few words with her regarding her behavior as well. I totally applaud her teacher for pulling J away from the situation and having her spend some time in the corner and eventually ended up eating in a separate space as her friends. There is nothing a little show off hates more then losing their audience. As any mom would feel, I felt as though I needed to do something as well to punish her more. Show her who’s boss and in charge here. My first thought was to pull the upcoming Chuck E Cheese birthday party from her but I was soon came back down to Earth and decided that one punishment was enough as long as her afternoon went well. A few hours later I arrived at Daycare to hear if first hand from her. After a sincere apology from J to her teacher, we set off to Chuck E Cheese. I learn in the car that my child has developed a false interpretation of how an apology goes. They are told to apologize when they hit, kick, take a toy, or do any other action that hurts their friends. The person receiving the apology is asked to acknowledge the apology by saying “It’s okay”. J is very adamant that she receive an “it’s okay” back from you. Today I learn from her that her ACTION was “okay” cause her friend told her that. Trying to explain to your 3 ½ year old the simple concept of apologies and acknowledgements can get pretty tricky. Especially once she’s got it in her head that her friends totally mean that “it’s okay”….for her to kick them again! Oh how a little child’s mind works!!