Pride is a funny thing. That feeling of accomplishment when you do something well. Whether that is graduating, receiving accolades at work for a project, etc. It swells up inside and I just can’t help but smile. Sometimes I catch myself admiring the work that is completed. It is an awesome feeling. If you can imagine, take that feeling and multiply it several times over.
“J” is in the final stages of potty training, by which I mean, the #2 part. Which I’m told is somewhat of a challenge. A couple days ago “J” told me she had to pee, conveniently while I was feeding our infant, but luckily she ran to the potty on her own. After a couple of minutes she calls me into the bathroom. My mind has shifted from what a good girl to now there is a mess that I will have to clean up. To my surprise, no mess just her revealing that instead of going pee she went #2. Now she has done this before, but I was amazed at the how much happiness I had inside of me when I was told this. You would have thought it would have been me in her place, but at my age would be a tad bit sad. We high-fived, and then I scooped her in my arms and just hugged her. I was so very proud of her. Now the same can be said when she fails, or does something that is wrong. It honestly tears me up inside to know either of my children are struggling. It hurts to punish a child, and hear them cry but I know that they are learning through these experiences. It makes it somewhat better, doesn’t make it go away, but it helps.
Finally understand how my parents felt when I was growing up. My children’s accomplishments are my accomplishments, their failures are my failures. We learn, cry, laugh, and rejoice together. I’m not here to be their best friend, but their teacher, mentor, and leader. I love being a father. Nothing better than watching “J” and “G” walk through this world, just pray that I can shine some light on their path so they don’t stumble.
Mom:
As we have journeyed through these many months of training J to do #2 properly, we have so many times felt out of control and helpless. There are a few things in life that you can’t “force” your child to do. Use the potty, eat, or sleep. We used every method of rewards and encouragement that all those magazines and books talk about; stickers, charts, calendars, M&M’s, toys, money, visiting her favorite place. Not surprising if you know J at all – Non of it Worked!! She would “perform” once and then reap her reward and inform you that she wasn’t doing it again. She had gotten what she wanted from the deal and was walking!
So as I read an article a couple months ago about constipation in your child. I hear them tell me over and over again that you can’t force or reward a child that “holds” it for as long as J was doing. My attitude changed with her. All of the sudden the potty wasn’t held above her on a throne as a prize or achievement. It was brought down to her level and simply viewed as not such a big deal. Simply by letting her fully call the shots on it and repeating “poop goes in the potty” each time she had an accident or struggled with it. And she figured it out.
In no ways are we fully in the clear and doing perfect but the improvement we have experienced in the last month has been a huge relief for us as well as her. Years ago if you would have told me that I would be a mother of a 3 year old looking into a potty with a great sense of pride for what had just happened, I would have told you that was just gross! All J wants is for those words to leave our lips; “Mommy and Daddy are so proud of you honey! High Five!!” Who needs stickers and charts when you have love to express your pride to your child!
